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The Chronicles of JayT
- Thread starter SumOfMyBits
- Start date
OMG!!!! Too CUUUUUTE!!!!!!! Do it J! DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some people say they've been handed microwaved gourmet hotdogs in a basket by this man.
Others say they've seen him fly into hurricanes with a fist full of limes and destroy the storm with pure awesomeness.
This guy has NEVER been seen in a cape.
I've heard his eyes weap tears of your favorite hot sauce when you are sad.
If he was in a Sauza commercial, he'd throw it on the ground.
If you ever see a double rainbow, you know JayT is near.
The Smurfs actually wanted to call it JayT juice, but the producers of the show said "Smurfberry".
JayT's car runs on awesomeness, not gasoline.
And then he found twenty bucks in my couch... we feasted on microwaved hotdogs for weeks.
True Story
Others say they've seen him fly into hurricanes with a fist full of limes and destroy the storm with pure awesomeness.
This guy has NEVER been seen in a cape.
I've heard his eyes weap tears of your favorite hot sauce when you are sad.
If he was in a Sauza commercial, he'd throw it on the ground.
If you ever see a double rainbow, you know JayT is near.
The Smurfs actually wanted to call it JayT juice, but the producers of the show said "Smurfberry".
JayT's car runs on awesomeness, not gasoline.
And then he found twenty bucks in my couch... we feasted on microwaved hotdogs for weeks.
True Story
We get double rainbows here ALL THE TIME! I knew JT loved us!!!!! 
That would explain the extra layer of bacon I found in the package this morning!!!!!!
And the fancy Cream Ale I discovered in the fridge!!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!
And the fancy Cream Ale I discovered in the fridge!!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!
I was nuking a hot dog the other day, and the microwave started screaming and arcing and buzzing and vibrating....guess JT didn't approve of the brand I was using....ooops....
...now I need a new microwave....
...now I need a new microwave....
heck - it was doing the damn watusi!!!!
Some say the clouds stop moving when he's around.
Others say their microwaves spontaniously beep when he strolls by.
He has never been "iced", because he has an assistant to carry a Smirnoff Ice for him... just in case.
This guy has no need for oven mitts.
Someone told me he once stopped a mudslide in the hills of a Brazillian rainforest just to save a baby squirrel.
NASA wanted to display all their shuttles in his backyard, and he told them to f**k off.
If you find a basket of fresh microwaved hotdogs at your doorstep, you know who's been there.
Others say their microwaves spontaniously beep when he strolls by.
He has never been "iced", because he has an assistant to carry a Smirnoff Ice for him... just in case.
This guy has no need for oven mitts.
Someone told me he once stopped a mudslide in the hills of a Brazillian rainforest just to save a baby squirrel.
NASA wanted to display all their shuttles in his backyard, and he told them to f**k off.
If you find a basket of fresh microwaved hotdogs at your doorstep, you know who's been there.
JayT's awesomeness transcends not only the natural world but also that of time and space as he freely moves between the realms at will. It is not physical, nor is it even metaphysical or happenstance. JayT simply wills it so as most of us mere mortals would simply picture something in our minds eye and so it is. The accounts of JayT chronicled here are as a single drop of rain in the Ocean of sagas JayT has lived. Are they legend, nay, they are the truth and the stuff of which a legend yearns to be derived.
As such his presence influences all kingdoms. For example, The Kingdom of music for it was after Handel merely smelled one of JayT’s microwaved Hot Dogs that he wrote The Messiah. The Kingdom of Art for it took only 2 Dogs for Michelangelo to paint the Sistine Chapel. Even the Kingdom of Film for in Star Trek when Spock entered the Dilithium chamber and brought the engines back online to save the ship, unseen in the back ground was JayT handing him Perfectly microwaved hot dogs to replace the broken crystals, perhaps the first time he's made this switch. And if these be the least of his abilities, what then are we missing?
For one to attempt to understand this awesomeness one would have to be JayT and since JayT is JayT only he has the capability to understand himself for he is fully self-aware. This day we have been blessed with his sharing of the knowledge that a new JayT shall be born to us. A blessing bestowed upon us by JayT for no other reason than that’s just how he rolls. So let us all drink Box Wine, Beer and Tequila and Feast upon the Microwaved Hot Dogs that fall freely from his aura, making much merriment. For tomorrow,
Only JayT know’s that………..
As such his presence influences all kingdoms. For example, The Kingdom of music for it was after Handel merely smelled one of JayT’s microwaved Hot Dogs that he wrote The Messiah. The Kingdom of Art for it took only 2 Dogs for Michelangelo to paint the Sistine Chapel. Even the Kingdom of Film for in Star Trek when Spock entered the Dilithium chamber and brought the engines back online to save the ship, unseen in the back ground was JayT handing him Perfectly microwaved hot dogs to replace the broken crystals, perhaps the first time he's made this switch. And if these be the least of his abilities, what then are we missing?
For one to attempt to understand this awesomeness one would have to be JayT and since JayT is JayT only he has the capability to understand himself for he is fully self-aware. This day we have been blessed with his sharing of the knowledge that a new JayT shall be born to us. A blessing bestowed upon us by JayT for no other reason than that’s just how he rolls. So let us all drink Box Wine, Beer and Tequila and Feast upon the Microwaved Hot Dogs that fall freely from his aura, making much merriment. For tomorrow,
Only JayT know’s that………..
One time JayT flashed me his junk and I accidently looked. It looked like a large baby arm in a hot dog casing but with a head on it like a house cat. It was very scary. He also had mustard and chile dog stains on his boxers.
True story.
True story.
OMFG!!!!! was there any relish?
No relish. But there was something that looked like dried cornbread batter, you know for like, making corn dogs.
