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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
I'm pretty sure the names of fire fighters in Brazil are Josea and joseb, he would have been safe.

Sorry about your duck man!
 
Stepped WAY outside my comfort zone tonight, and made Shichimi Tōgarashi (home made dry spice blend) grilled salmon...but I added an 8th chile...some ground t-scorps I dried and flaked, with a sesame garlic marinade. Made some rice with a little sesame oil, and wok oil, and some kind of Asian pea/carrot mix I sautee'd in wok oil, garlic, sesame seeds, lemon grass, fish oil, and soy sauce. Combine with my beloved Diet Dr. Pepper and vodka...and it was a WIN. Best fish I ever had. Still working on plating...as I am a long-time utilitarian-style chef...recently trying to make it "look good". I don't like the look of "dullness" to the frozen veggie mix, even though the flavor was spot on. I'm also not thriled about the 'empty space' on the plate, but used it as a combine-stuff-here area. Regardless...it was bad ass.

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Nice moves LB!!!!! Looks like spiffy new plates?
Isn't plating the best? That food looks awesome, and I was really getting the "heat factor" from the flakes.
I would have woofed those veggies down immediately before maui'n the salmon!
Great job looks nice!!!
 
Well, I decided to have a great drunken chef meal tonight. This is a hodgepodge of sauces put together to sautee some shirmp. The players are Louisiana Gold, Justaguy's Tongue Wrapper, HBD's Mango Hab, and Pineapple jalapeno, Melinda's Jolokia, and some powders.

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Spent the last couple hours chatting with Nova and drinking margaritas like the one in the first pic so if the photos are not so good its not my fault!
 
The pics exhibit the Tippet touch, nice and blurry! Thats the way they should be in the drunken chef anyway!
How many did ya get through? They look tasty nom nom nom.
 
Beer chili spud time!

Apologies for the spectacularly s***house photos!

Ingredients!
1 Dutch Cream potato
Chili (beef, tomato, onion, garlic, four bean mix, dried habs, chipotle, cumin, paprika, green peppercorns, salt, all spice, brown sugar, apple cider vinegar, and curry powder)
Salsa (red/green pepper, tomato, salt, black pepper, lemon juice, lime juice, and sriracha)
Guacamole (avocado, lemon juice, black pepper, salt, and a lil' cream cheese)
Tasty Cheese
Greek Yoghurt ('cause I don't need any more cream!)
Trinidad Volcano from Judy @ pepperlover.com (7pot, & scorp?) - Thanks!

The more important ingredients in this equation...
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The Chili
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The Guac
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The Salsa
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The final thingo!
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I'm full.... Need some Dimple....
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:beer: :beer:
nice!!!
JayT this shrimp looks amazing! I need some shrimp for today!!

Raelacea, the guacamole is damm cool! i love avocato! :dance:
 
Rael. James Boags?

Stick a flower in water and call me beer!
Water, hops, maybe malt i dunno, flavooh nah.

What kind of beer goodness do you like?
 
Rael. James Boags?

Stick a flower in water and call me beer!
Water, hops, maybe malt i dunno, flavooh nah.

What kind of beer goodness do you like?

Nova I like all kinds of beer goodness :D
I'd probably drink Schofferhofer every day if I could afford it... But Boags premium was on special lol.
It does evoke the tasweigan in me though. oO
 
cough, cough cough...mmmm....Hey LunchBox - that meal is pure gorgeousness! Now I'm craving salmon somethin' fierce! Wish we had scratch-n-sniff on this computer. Better yet, reach-n-taste! I've played around w/ cornstarch or arrowroot before to gloss up veggies. It'd probably be more helpful if I could figure out the camera first! ha! If DP&V inspires that kind of wicked fare, I'm gonna have to switch cocktails!!!! :) Cheers!
 
I'm still hoping to see food replicators in my lifetime. Smell-o-vision would be nice...but food replicators......

...yea, baby~~~~
 
Get real: smell-o-vision would be torture. To smell all that wonderful goodness and not be able to try it???? Torture, I tell ya!

Seriously, JayT, LB, Rael - you guys got your game on!
 
+1 ^^^
 
Is that jalapeno oil in the little jar?
 
Is that jalapeno oil in the little jar?

Yep! It came in a set along with habanero oil, wasabi oil, and chipotle oil. I got them from Le Gourmet Chef. The little set was like $7, which is expensive I think that I could've just gotten a large bottle of extra virgin olive oil and put diced peppers in the bottle, but it was a novel concept to me when I bought it.
 
Hey JT!!!! Didn't you mention somethin' about posting a picture here of your Mexican non-entry? Somethin' about Mole'???? Maybe the moment's passed, but I hope not! Just askin'! :)
 
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