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Create your own Limerick
- Thread starter pileiton
- Start date
There once was a girl from the prairie
Who's friends all said was a fairy,
She said with a twitch
"I've a terrible itch!"
Her bottom was really quite hairy!
I <3 limericks
There once was a boy from Nepal
Who stood damn near 8 feet tall
What raised the alarms
Was his super short arms
No way he could play basketball.
Who's friends all said was a fairy,
She said with a twitch
"I've a terrible itch!"
Her bottom was really quite hairy!
I <3 limericks
There once was a boy from Nepal
Who stood damn near 8 feet tall
What raised the alarms
Was his super short arms
No way he could play basketball.
On the breast of a barmaid from Vail
Was tattooed the price of the ale
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
The price was posted in braille
Was tattooed the price of the ale
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
The price was posted in braille
How dirty can these be? May I use the word phallus?
wow - you guys are good. I'd better step up my game. A story for you then, 16th century drunkard style.
I present to you, The Tale of Cale & the Dragon's Fail:
Where to begin, at an inn with a grin?
Perhaps with a pour from a keg?
I'll tell a tall tale 'bout a fellow named Cale
Who earned himself a wooden leg.
Old Cale he did fail while working a sail
Though the fault wasn't all of his own
The deck suddenly rumbled & Cale he tumbled
Into the froth & the foam
Cale sighed with a frown and expected to drown
But instead of a splash 'twas a thump
All full of scales, on a long spiny tail
He'd snagged his coat with a "thunk!"
Then high in the air with a whoosh like a flare
They shot upon wings of leather
Cale felt the gale and shouted and flailed
But Cale felt meek as a feather.
Over sea they flew & then Cale's fear grew
Would he be the creature's next meal?
Then suddenly clear - the end it was near
And Cale was most certainly stew.
And then with a rip, the coat did slip
Cale's relief quickly turned to fright!
Although he had flown, he dropped like a stone
He wasn't gifted with powers of flight.
Suddenly falling, the ground it was calling
Like a siren's song bringing him home
But 'twas 50 feet down - long way to the ground
And poor Cale he shattered his bone
Stars bright in the sky as he looked on high
Obscured by a perilous shape
But hidden he was in the dirt and the dust
Cale narrowly cheated his fate.
With the doctor he begged, but poor Cale lost a leg
It caused him great sorrow & strife
But 'twasn't his fault for there was an assault
And better a leg than a life.
I present to you, The Tale of Cale & the Dragon's Fail:
Where to begin, at an inn with a grin?
Perhaps with a pour from a keg?
I'll tell a tall tale 'bout a fellow named Cale
Who earned himself a wooden leg.
Old Cale he did fail while working a sail
Though the fault wasn't all of his own
The deck suddenly rumbled & Cale he tumbled
Into the froth & the foam
Cale sighed with a frown and expected to drown
But instead of a splash 'twas a thump
All full of scales, on a long spiny tail
He'd snagged his coat with a "thunk!"
Then high in the air with a whoosh like a flare
They shot upon wings of leather
Cale felt the gale and shouted and flailed
But Cale felt meek as a feather.
Over sea they flew & then Cale's fear grew
Would he be the creature's next meal?
Then suddenly clear - the end it was near
And Cale was most certainly stew.
And then with a rip, the coat did slip
Cale's relief quickly turned to fright!
Although he had flown, he dropped like a stone
He wasn't gifted with powers of flight.
Suddenly falling, the ground it was calling
Like a siren's song bringing him home
But 'twas 50 feet down - long way to the ground
And poor Cale he shattered his bone
Stars bright in the sky as he looked on high
Obscured by a perilous shape
But hidden he was in the dirt and the dust
Cale narrowly cheated his fate.
With the doctor he begged, but poor Cale lost a leg
It caused him great sorrow & strife
But 'twasn't his fault for there was an assault
And better a leg than a life.
PaulG
Extreme Member
There was a mermaid named Amaranth,
Who fell in love with a coelacanth.
She couldn't share her charms,
'Cause he had lobes and not arms,
So she ran off and married a philanthropist.
Epilogue:
Since she gave of her charms
To one who had arms,
You might say she was somewhat of an 'anthropist'
Sorry, It's the only limmerick I ever made up.
It took several days.
I just wanted to use the word coelacanth.
P.S. That's quite a story, LD!
Who fell in love with a coelacanth.
She couldn't share her charms,
'Cause he had lobes and not arms,
So she ran off and married a philanthropist.
Epilogue:
Since she gave of her charms
To one who had arms,
You might say she was somewhat of an 'anthropist'
Sorry, It's the only limmerick I ever made up.
It took several days.
I just wanted to use the word coelacanth.
P.S. That's quite a story, LD!
Thanks Geeme!
A boy stood on a burning deck
the deck was made of brass
he did a double somersault and landed on his...
don't be mistaken
don't be mislead
he did a double somersault and landed on his head!
I'll bring you a tail of affliction
filled with sorrow and woe
it all started with the phrase
"to town we all shall go"
We loaded up the buggy
with our fanciest well to do
but what we didnt realise is that the kids had had the glue
They painted those seats really well
with that two part new fangled concoction
when i get my hands on them their ears i will be a boxin!
A boy stood on a burning deck
the deck was made of brass
he did a double somersault and landed on his...
don't be mistaken
don't be mislead
he did a double somersault and landed on his head!
I'll bring you a tail of affliction
filled with sorrow and woe
it all started with the phrase
"to town we all shall go"
We loaded up the buggy
with our fanciest well to do
but what we didnt realise is that the kids had had the glue
They painted those seats really well
with that two part new fangled concoction
when i get my hands on them their ears i will be a boxin!
Pi - this is a ga-genius thread! And these are some fantastic limericks!!!! such talent....... 
More...more.....!!!!!!
Here goes....
I once ate a chile from hell,
That took my breath for a spell.
But soon I recovered,
And then I discovered,
What it did to my cheeks...I can't tell!
More...more.....!!!!!!Here goes....
I once ate a chile from hell,
That took my breath for a spell.
But soon I recovered,
And then I discovered,
What it did to my cheeks...I can't tell!
Some of you are taking limericks to "Bard" status!!!! Impressive...and oh so enjoyable! Loooove it! 
and then there are the traditionalists.......pure and belly-laugh-worthy!!!! This is awesome!!!!
and then there are the traditionalists.......pure and belly-laugh-worthy!!!! This is awesome!!!!
Nova's upping the ante....
But it's late and I'm dunkft-ish:
Some limerick's are outdated
Some overrated
But the one's we love most
Are usually X-rated!!!!!
But it's late and I'm dunkft-ish:
Some limerick's are outdated
Some overrated
But the one's we love most
Are usually X-rated!!!!!
hmmm x rated....
Jimmy was a father of three
if he had not three it would be one
he could remember the very first time
he implanted that first bun
she would scream out "hun hun hun"
whenever they got together
for herself and jimmy it just seemed life could get no better
until that one day from the south
the baker he came a knockin
jimmy's girl up with all he had
damn jimmy's dad was rotten.
Jimmy was a father of three
if he had not three it would be one
he could remember the very first time
he implanted that first bun
she would scream out "hun hun hun"
whenever they got together
for herself and jimmy it just seemed life could get no better
until that one day from the south
the baker he came a knockin
jimmy's girl up with all he had
damn jimmy's dad was rotten.
oooh naughty!
I don't know if I'm more spooked by the limerick----or the fact that I'm awake on/at OZ time!
luvs ya Nova!
I don't know if I'm more spooked by the limerick----or the fact that I'm awake on/at OZ time!
luvs ya Nova!
There once was a pepper named Butchey
that had a pointy part down on his tushey
I just took one bite
then stayed up all night
and now I feel like a big Wussie
Hickory dickery dock doolerey
This thread is chock full of tomfoolery
So I Stayed up all night
wondering what I might
Say to make such a damnfool-o-me
so once I did cut habeneros
no gloves did I try to wear-o
I cut chopped and squeezed
then loud she did scream
when I touched her before she could say no
that had a pointy part down on his tushey
I just took one bite
then stayed up all night
and now I feel like a big Wussie
Hickory dickery dock doolerey
This thread is chock full of tomfoolery
So I Stayed up all night
wondering what I might
Say to make such a damnfool-o-me
so once I did cut habeneros
no gloves did I try to wear-o
I cut chopped and squeezed
then loud she did scream
when I touched her before she could say no